Changing Our Perspective
October 28, 2023 — Carol Brown
One of the key steps in healing from child loss is learning how to integrate that loss into the landscape of our lives. Several years ago, my husband and I visited Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. It seems God always teaches me object lessons through His magnificent creation.
As we traveled higher and higher into the range, it seemed that the mountains became larger with every mile until they were all we could see, even blocking out the sky. They were so tall we couldn’t see the tops, and it seemed we were surrounded by monolithic gray stone. But as we descended into the valley below, we noticed that our view was slowly changing. The mountain tops were becoming more visible, and what had appeared to be just a few of them were becoming more numerous. We began to see the tree line, and then the valley below with its distinct foliage and numerous grazing elk. Did the Rocky Mountains change? No, but our perspective of them had, and we could see from down below how those mountains were integrated into the entire landscape.
Our perspective changed because we were no longer seeing them up close. They did not change in size or scope, but the way we viewed them had changed. In a similar way, our perspective of our loss must also change to make room for other joys and sorrows that likely will occur over time. In her Bible study, Desperate for Hope, Vaneetha Riser writes this: “Suffering can blur your perspective, especially if you view it through the lens of despair. It’s easy to assume your present pain will go on forever, that God is against you, or that your entire life is a mess. Those are lies from Satan which can make you feel trapped, convinced the situation cannot change. To pull out of it, you need to reframe your perspective.”
We can begin to reframe our perspective, the way we view our situation, by believing the promises of God rather than the lies of Satan. The enemy tells us we are unworthy, guilty of punishment, abandoned, forsaken, and doomed to intense grief for the rest of our lives. But God says we are loved, helped, secure, forgiven, valuable, and inscribed on the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16). He rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). He will never forsake us because we are His own dear children (Hebrews 13:5). All suffering is temporary, and our lives need not be defined by it. All suffering has meaning and purpose, for in God’s economy, nothing is wasted.
When we begin to view our loss through the lens of God’s eternal plan of redemption and restoration as found in the truth of His Word, we begin to slowly move away from the base of the mountain and widen out our view. Child loss will always be a huge spike in the range of the events of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be the only thing we see or experience.
We have been made right with God because of our faith. Now we have peace with him because of our Lord Jesus Christ. Through faith in Jesus we have received God’s grace. In that grace we stand. We are full of joy because we expect to share in God’s glory. And that’s not all. We are full of joy even when we suffer. We know that our suffering gives us the strength to go on. The strength to go on produces character. Character produces hope. And hope will never bring us shame. That’s because God’s love has been poured into our hearts. This happened through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. — Romans 5:1-5 NIRV
