Reading the Instructions

November 5, 2023 — Laura House

Do you read the instructions when you purchase a new “assemble before using” product? Theoretically, the instructions should make assembly simple. When they are clearly presented, I love instructions. 

However, I’ve discovered that the directions aren’t always clear, and don’t always work. For example, more than once I’ve found a lovely bookshelf, desk, or other piece of furniture on Amazon at a great price that was delivered in a box with instructions to “easily” assemble. After hours of trying, I usually gave up. If I do succeed at putting something together, there are inevitably a handful of left-over pieces that never found their proper spots.

When Nathan was here, he was the one we’d call for help. Somehow his engineering mind didn’t need those instructions. He could just see how it all was intended to fit together, and whip it out quickly. I also remember him commenting about instructions for things in the electronics world too, and how unclear and confusing they often were. When he founded his own electronics business, Foxytronics, he took great care to detail his instructions, so that even people like me could accomplish them. If you are a techy-type of person, you might enjoy reading through his instructions for building an arduino robot. His website is not functional now, and some of the components such as images no longer show up, but the tutorials, blog, forum, and product content remain, and I enjoy looking through them from time to time. Perhaps you can relate to the fact that remnants of our loved one’s lives are like gold now.

Instructions are everywhere. Traffic signs tell us when to stop and go, recipes give us the steps to achieve the taste we desire, and Siri gives point-by-point instructions of where to turn. 

I was thinking about grief this morning, that it doesn’t really come with instructions. There is no road map, no recipe, no consistency of what to expect from day to day. Grief is messy, unpredictable, and it constantly changes—sometimes from moment to moment. And as you already know, the grief journey is different for every griever. 

Although the journey itself has no instructions, surviving grief and finding the ability to move through it, does. Unlike my attempts to decipher the instructions that accompany a new product, the instructions for making it through grief and finding comfort, purpose, peace, and even joy again in our lives are very specific and clear. We need only to do this one thing.

Turn to the Lord. 

Cry out to Him and trust Him. Even if grief has obscured your view and you don’t ‘feel’ Him there, He is very close to you, holding you through this storm. His Word holds the instructions that we need.

“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” — Psalms 62:8

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalms 34:18 

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalms 147:3

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” —  Isaiah 43:2

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” — Psalms 23:4 

“ It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” — Deuteronomy 31:8

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” — I Peter 5:7

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10 

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ — 2 Corinthians 12:9

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”— Psalms 145:18

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”— Lamentations 3:22–23

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” — Revelation 21:4


Laura House

Laura House is the co-founder of the Our Hearts Are Home ministry, and Nathan’s mom.

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Letting God Turn Your Pain Into Purpose

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Changing Our Perspective